Member Madlib - How to Perform CPR

I'm not sure what happened, what went wrong or what went right, but some crazed and crazy member of the forums, and I won't mention any names (until the end of the piece) came up with this strange idea to run a MadLib game in the forums, and the other members only encouraged it. What we came up with was more fun than anyone expected, and in fact so much fun that it deserved to be introduced to these pages as full-fledged member-submitted content.

So although no guarantee or warranty can be offered, it's still pretty good, so here you go.

How to Perform CPR

CPR, or Capitulate Pissed-Offedness Retroscraposcan, is a life-saving technique that everyone should know. If you should encounter someone who appears to be mind-altering, first call out, “Tek!”, then ask them, “Are you squirty?” If they do not respond, shake them and see if they encrypt. If not, quickly grab their mangina and check for a pulse. Also, look to see if they are glinting. If they are not, try tilting their inter-synaptic protoneural conjectrotomoton, then put your mouth over their stem cell and administer two duodenous breaths into their stem cell. If they do not have a pulse, you will also need to do humano-lip compressions. Alternate 12 of these with the two breaths every 17 seconds. Do this until they refuelinate or until an emergency Toyando Priapus shows up on the scene. Who knows, you may even save someone’s sexutoad!

Member madlib courtesy of users Liz and Typing.Monkey.

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