Member article - The Unknowable Truth Behind Tek

According to the great and powerful Wikipedia, “Agnosticism is the philosophical view that the truth values of certain claims—particularly theological claims regarding the existence of God, gods, or deities—are unknown, inherently unknowable, or incoherent, and therefore, (some agnostics may go as far to say) irrelevant to life.”

For my purposes, I present you the following definition, based on Wiki’s agnosticism article:

Tekism is the philosophical view that the truth values of certain claims – particularly truthy claims regarding the existence of Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central, or Tyrone – are unknown, inherently unknowable, or incoherent, and therefore, (some Tekists may go as far to say) irrelevant to Tekjansen.com.

There are multiple variations of Tekism:

1. Strong Tekism is the view that it is impossible for people to ever know the truth because they cannot adequately judge the evidence.

Example: Stephen Colbert says he is “the walrus,” which was brought up on the Tek Jansen message board. This may be a coincidence or it may not be one. It is not possible to know. 2. Weak Tekism is the view that the truth is not unknowable but that more evidence is needed.

Example: When Stephen Colbert reads viewer mail, and he says that his letters are from Walt Schmertz, PuppetHunter, and Allison LeGnome, the truth is known.

3. Apathetic Tekism is the view that it does not matter if Stephen Colbert is behind Tekjansen.com, as it does not really affect Tek followers.

4. Tekist Colbertism is the view of those who do not know if Stephen Colbert is behind the site but who believe it anyway.

5. Tekist spiritualism is the view that Stephen Colbert may or may not be behind the site but that there is something about the site that is larger than any of the members.

6. Tekist Acolbertism is the view that Stephen Colbert may or may not be behind the site but that it is most likely that he is not.

Article appears courtesy of user Liz.

(You can also read the page that inspired this here.)

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