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Chapter 25 - The Dodecadence of Margbwar-12 (page-5)
With all this money came a snooty unbearability that can only be imagined when you understand the coupling of burdensome wealth with the sun shining genuinely and undeniably from ones ass. They wore fossils like they were pearls, pearls like they were diamonds and diamonds like they were anal beads. Made for a glinting disco ball effect on account of the monstrous nuggets of glistening carbon hanging curiously and precariously from their sphincters, but it sure as hell didn't make them any easier to hang around. But man did they know how to throw a party. All that decadent wealth and an insatiable quest for any pleasure they could imagine or pay someone else to devise made the hootenannies they threw something talked about all the way to Bizarro space. Not so much because they put the "odo" in sodomy, but because they had no qualms about putting the "sod" in sodomy. If you've ever had grass stains from base to tip, you know you've been to a freaky party. The orgies they threw on Margbwar made the Virgo Superclusterfuck look like it was just a dozen galaxies colliding but with the F-word tacked on to the end. These people knew their hedonism. Debaucherists came from C-squared-gigs away to imbibe in the whole moon bathhouses of Margbwar-12, and who could blame them? If you've never sprouted benign melanoma on your nut sack from rear-ending a hootchie you met at a bar made of solid rubies, frankly, you haven't lived… of course if you have, you probably have died, but it's a small price to pay for the experience. And at these parties, safe sodomy involved a built-up resistance to diamond induced abrasions and a liberal slathering of SPF "my-wang's-in-the-sunny-side-of-an-alien". Not the sort of galactic accoutrements-du-dong you can just pick up at your local Hyper Mart, though it never hurts to ask. And thanks to a faulty dimensiometric drive, we were out of the fuel we needed to get back on track, and we were headed straight for them with a beacon to light the way. I didn't know what we'd find, but on a planet that rich, I knew we'd be okay. I wasn't worried we'd find the alloy, I was curious who we'd meet, how we'd meet them and how we'd leave them… oh, and we had our SPF on tap, and I ain't even being figurative, I had the tap added before we left space earth. It seemed like a good idea, and now, working my lotion in to a lather for pre-pre-pre-good measure, I knew my pre-cognizance had been dead on the money yet again. This page may have been updated since this "Printer Friendly" page was created. Read this passage in its current form online at www.tekjansen.com/chapters/25-5.php.