I was so caught up in the successful backpedal out of my ignorance I forgot to listen to what earth words he was saying from his pursed, earthen, human mouth. Fortunately my ignore-AMS chip knew I was miles away and it picked it all up for me.

They were a peculiar race, full of themselves not just by volume like most races, but also by the magnitude of their ego. The sort of people who thought the sun shined out their collective alien asses, but to their credit, it did. No one understood how or why, but the sun really and truly did and does to this day shine out from their billion-odd sphincters, and I do mean odd. It's a blinding and glorious thing, and it's no wonder, even if for this single reason alone, why they're so conceited.

The mystery of their ass-out shinery had been pondered and attacked by scientist and doctors from every galaxy within a thirty jeezm travel by ultra spliff, but no answer could ever come of it. Indeed, even the proctologists on their own home planet suffered blindness within seconds of 'walking into the light', as it has long been known. The leading cause of death on the planet was colorectal cancer, and it was no surprise. The only doctors who even tried to ply the backdoor trade did so with large cardboard boxes placed over their heads with pinholes pricked as if to view an eclipse.

An eclipse? No gentlemen, this is something far more deadly. It's a full moon and the sun rolled in to one.

Only the philosophers ever made any headway with the asses of Margbwar-12, and only because philosophy had been discredited even as a psuedo-science some 16 trillion years before. Sorry philosophers, better luck in a perpendicular universe.

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