A Word About Bears

Plush stuffed cuddlies fashioned in the image of a benevolent, prominent dead president, or soulless, Godless killing machines?

I know you probably don't want to hear it or think about it, but these are matters very near and dear to my heart, the matters of bears, bear avoidance, human safety and general bear awareness.

As funny as it may sound, it is no laughing matter. Don't be taken in by the Poohs, Smokeys, Yogis and even that creepy gay bastard in the big blue house, they're nothing more than the puppets of propaganda working for the east coast, liberal media, ursine supremecy agenda.

The fact of the matter is that every year tens of millions of people die at the massive paws of bears. Some in parks like such as either of the Yellow or Jelly stones, some in tents or campgrounds, but many in their homes while they are watching television or at their work while they are filing reports or trying to find an email copy of document because that damned fax machine is jammed again.

Don't let it happen to you. Think smart, act smarter and give what you can to stop bears now. If you can't give money, at least call your congressional representative or any of the 433 congress men and women. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you demand human rights and you won't be bullied by bears any longer. Tell them you deserve to live free of the threat of bears even in your 10th floor apartment.

Further Reading

  • Killer Bears
  • Dangerous Bears
  • Bears Kill
  • Tasty Dead Bears

  • Previous Page Next Page

    Email to a friendEmail this page printer friendly pagePrinter friendly page