Saturnian Tapir - For many decades the planet of Saturn was believed to be devoid of life, and this was not just due to the famous "human ignorance condition" on the part of explorers, but also due to galactic disinterest in examining the planet and the clever tactics of evasion enjoyed by the highest life form on the surface of the planet, the Saturnian Tapirs.

The Saturnian Tapirs are known as such because they largely resemble the peculiarly poorly adapted New Terran mammals known by the same name, though without the decidedly Roman "Saturnian" prefix. The imperative difference between New Terran and Saturnian tapirs is that the Saturnians require an estimated thousand atmospheres of pressure to survive, breath liquid hydrogen, piss liquid ammonia and cry tears of joy and sadness in thick, almost-viscous, crystalline, salty tears when facing certain extinction at the hands of disease-toting uninaughts.

Although it was believed that no life could exist on the surface of Saturn, the survival of these creatures was ultimately attributed to their huge balls and accompanying, often purplish and throbbing, penii. Astro-Zoologists suggest that any being with balls that big can overcome any adversity, and any females of such a species can find a reason to live just get another shot at -- or from -- them. Just like New Terran tapirs, now long extinct, the functionality of the phallus as a tool for reproduction, plowing fields and intimidating predators and smack-talkers has contributed widely to their continued survival.

For an example of this word used in context, read this page.

See also: aphids, Chinese Walking Fish, dogfish, femaphrodude, mangina, man wang, nut sack.

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