Chapter 25 - The Dodecadence of Margbwar-12 (page 4 of 10) - MEMBERS ONLY
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But this wasn't the only thing that made them unbearable, not for one light second, which, if you're scoring along at home, is the same amount of time as a regular second, only it can span a distance of 186,000 miles. No, they were unbearable in so many ways it was hard to count them, but a quick guess would say "two".
Their second problem was money. Not like the guy you see on the same corner day in day out with new tennis shoes pretending he's homeless, these people had the other kind of money problem. The kind where they have way too much of it, no idea how they got it, and only know of it for its powers for evil. Like a rich kid whose grandpa slaved until death to create a legacy only for it to be blown the year he dies on methamphetamines and gambling. You know the type.
Their glorious, sunny, sunflowers of rectums had such galactic repute it couldn't help but make them famous, and as such, their planet had become the most bespectacled tourist Mecca in the hemiverse. They charged tourists whatever they wanted because, let's face it, where else in the all of what exists could you witness a supernova going off mere inches from an inflamed prostate.
People pay good money to see that stuff, don't kid yourself.
They'd grown so wealthy from tourist revenue derived from public displays of their blinding anal brilliance that they had wealth sufficient to throw their planet off it's axis, which was no problem since they also had enough money to hire stellactic quantum engineers to invent a way to put it back on its axis, plus resurrect their dead.
The resurrection thing proved a problem, not so much with God who was keen on doing such things himself, but with the whole overpopulation thing. Fortunately they discovered cannibalism and murder just in time or they singular race would have gone the way of the green party. Pity about that, not so much for the greenies as the planet, but that was a very long time ago.
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