Chapter 10 – My Squad Atricious (page 6 of 10)

Burggl was a good man but a terrible liar, it was one of the things that made him such a good man. “Don’t you frunking lie to me,” I said. “Lying to me is prohibited under introversial conduct code section five dot nineteen,” I said, making up a section of the conduct code on the spot, as well as the existence of an introverse.

Melo looked like a planet-of style ape, his face barely moving, though looking somehow vaguely surprised. Cappy was wiggling the steering wheel side to side as if pretend driving, though no navigation was required or even enabled at that point. The communication lady, whose name I still hadn’t gone back to remember, was playfully beeping buttons on her multimunicator. Oh man, I hated her the worst, it was times like this that she should have been doing something but she just sat there, pretending to be busy, riding on the success of her off-pretty hotness and the ever-present distracting shortness of her skirt.

“Come on Burggl,” I said, seething from the seems with unreasonable rage, “don’t make us choose between saving your life and protecting the free freedom of all that is.”

“No Tek,” he said, foaming only modestly, “I’m totally cool. Keep going, I’ll be fine.”

If I hadn’t already made to fine a point of it, I wanted to make it again, he was a worse liar than the mute monks of pious pinwheel in triangulum. “Don’t play games with me, you damned deserter, you’re trying to die on me and ruin this mission, and I won’t allow it.”

“Tek,” interjected Jehovina, whose name I’d finally remembered, a French manicured nail to her earpiece, “I’ve flagged down a medical unit in our sector, they’re coming along side of us now.”

“Great,” I thought aloud as I spoke it, “now I look like a dick for saying you weren’t doing anything when the crisis unfolded.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, naively, unaware of the thoughts I’d expressed just a moment before.

“That wasn’t for you,” I explained, “That comment was for my book, I just wanted to make sure it was recorded.”

Naturally, the crew was a bit uneasy due to my internal monologue overflowing into the control lodge as it had. I’d explained to the crew a thousand times that my subconscious is a callous, biased jackass, but they still felt perpetual need to attach it to me personally.

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